Like Water Shapes Rock: How Influence Shapes Our Future
Why authentic influence—not authority—creates a future worth having.
There’s a photo of me standing beneath a sign that reads, in bold, unapologetic letters:
Create a future worth having.
It wasn’t staged. I didn’t plan the symbolism. In fact, it was a rare date-night out (young kids, entrepreneur, it’s 2025, I digress!). But these words did deeply resonate. And looking at it now, I see a quiet kind of invitation, one that feels more urgent and real with every passing year.
If you’d asked me a decade ago what it meant to lead, I might have rattled off something about vision, drive, inspiration, maybe even a C-suite title. The kind of stuff that looks good on a LinkedIn profile or a business card. But life, with its relentless honesty, has a way of sanding down our sharp edges and showing us what truly matters.
These days, I think about influence less like a spotlight and more like water.
Not the crashing, headline-making kind. More the slow, persistent, deeply powerful kind—the kind that shapes rock, given enough time.
Influence, in this sense, isn’t about being an “influencer,” or pushing people, or muscling your way to the front. It’s a power that works without direct or apparent effort, often invisible, yet visceral.
Photo credit: Daniel Mirlea
Authority is granted by position; influence is earned by trust and example.
Influence is always at work eroding old ways of being. It leaks and gushes. It’s how we show up, how we listen, how people feel in our Presence.
Maya Angelou’s words echo here,
“I’ve learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Think, just think of the ripple here—from that type of influence. Visions of grandiose movements begin to take shape in my mind. Of what could be. But where to start?
If I’m honest, it starts with a radical reclamation of my own power.
Not the kind that controls others, but the kind that lets me stand in the messiness, the unfairness, the not-yet-figured-out parts of life and work, and choose to act anyway. To step into agency. To expand what’s possible, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.
There’s what you can control: your presence, your choices, your words. And then there’s everything outside of that: outcomes, other people’s actions, the world’s chaos. That’s your circle of concern.
But in between is your circle of influence. The place where your actions, your listening, your courage, create ripples. Every day, you get to choose: Will you throw up your hands at what you can’t control, or will you step into that gap and shape what you can?
Because truly, no one controls you. Yes, there are systems, rules, and hierarchies in place. However, you must choose each moment how you act. And so too, must others.
How might you inspire action towards a shared future worth having?
And hard truth: things may not get easier. They may not be “fair”.
Joan Rivers said it better than I could:
“I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. YOU get better.”
And as I get better at listening, at letting go, at holding space for not “knowing”, at inviting others into the story, something shifts.
The future, the culture, the reality around me begins to take a new shape, not because I forced it, but because I allowed it. I showed up, open-handed, and invited others to co-create.
That’s what Upward & Inward is about.
It’s about adaptively leading from influence, from wherever you stand right now.
It’s about reclaiming what we can control—our presence, our choices, our words—and letting that ripple out, persistently, into something worth having.
So if you’re tired of the noise, the pressure, the illusion that leadership is about being the loudest or the most followed, I invite you to consider another way.
A way that’s more subtle, *maybe*. But a way that just might shape the future, our future—one honest, human moment at a time.
How to Lead from Influence: The Upward & Inward Arc
If you’re wondering where to begin, here’s the arc I use with the leaders I coach—a path that’s shaped my own journey, too.
True influence isn’t just about leading “down”, it’s about leading up, across, and within.
Each stage of this arc is a way to expand your influence—first with yourself, then with others, and finally with the future you’re shaping together:
Upward: Anchor in Aspiration
Start by looking up. What’s the bigger vision? What future is truly worth having, not just for you, but for those around you? Is it shared, is it bold, is it anchored in something larger than yourself?Inward: Align with Self-Awareness
Then, turn inward. Check your head, heart, and gut. Are you acting from clarity and integrity? What’s your part of the story, your part of the mess? Influence begins with radical self-awareness and the courage to own your presence.Outward: Engage & Co-Create
Next, look outward. Seek out other voices, especially those different from your own. Listen deeply. Invite others into the story and into the mess. Influence grows when we build coalitions, gather support, and co-create solutions.Forward: Experiment & Iterate Together
Finally, move forward together. Act, learn, adjust. Celebrate progress, not just outcomes. Influence isn’t a one-time push; it’s a continual process of learning, adapting, and communicating as you go.
More to come. For now, maybe just look at the photo again. What kind of future are you shaping through your influence today?
Want to join a masterclass this Thursday focusing on this topic? Register here.